Blogging is nothing new to me as I have been doing it on other sites, but this one is new and fresh and I have promised myself to only post all the positive stuff here, the other one got weighed down with so much crap that I decided a change was as good as a holiday. Coupled with the fact that I am in a new country, starting a new life, a new blog is most definately on the cards. My friend Sheena from South Africa, my old hometown, is on here and as I love her blog so much, and have been an avid reader for ages, decided to make it easier to read her stuff while posting my own.

So here goes ......

This is a post that I had on my very first blog and I think it is appropriate that I make it the first post here too. Its a really positive piece and I hope it brings inspiration to all who read it.

Nov 27, 2006, 05:24

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out -ENOUGH!!

Enough fighting or crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world with new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize its time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there are no fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and thats Okay (everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions) and you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and complaining about the things other people did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people dont always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you and that its not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own, and take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you learn to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way that you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you have been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop, and what you should drive and how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with and who you should marry and what you should expect from a marriage, the importance of having and raising children and last but not least, what you owe your parents!!

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view and you begin re-assessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you have outgrown or should never have bought into in the first place, and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving, that we receive. That there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manouvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundations upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, that its not your job to save the world, and you cannot teach a pig to sing (sorry Babe). You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one that you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake, and then you learn about love.

Romantic love and familial love, how to love, how to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or more important because of the man on your arm, or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not what you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that as people grow and change, so it is with love... and you learn that you dont have the right to demand love on your terms ... just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone, does not mean lonely...

You look in the mirror and realize that you will never be a perfect size and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing on how you "stack up".

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK ... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch ... and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and creates doubts and fears. So you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, so laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and play.

You learn, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve ... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no-one can do it all alone and you learn to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great thief of all time, fear itself!! You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away your right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isnt always fair, you dont always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a warm soft bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your hearts desire. You hang a windchime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility and opportunity.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live, as best you can.

Thats all for now folks, hope to see you all really soon