YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

1. You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume" or Cozzie
2. You call a traffic light a "robot"
3. Employees dance in front of a building to show how unhappy they are
4. The SABC advertises highlights of the program you just finished watching
5. A cold blooded murderer is your Chief of Metro Police
6. You get cold easily. Anything below 16°C is Arctic weather
7. The penalties for lighting up in non-smoking areas are harsher than those for murder and rape
8. You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
9. You can sing your national anthem in four different languages, but have no idea what it means in any of them
10. "Imported" Cuban doctors go back home because they can't handle the Health Department's poor standards
11. You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela
12. You go to "braais" regularly, where you drink beer, eat boerewors and swim, often simultaneously
13. You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State
14. You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer
15. You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement
16. Speeding fines are more expensive than bail
17. You hire a security guard whenever you park your car
18. You regard any steak under 300g as a snack
19. You're hesitant to shoot an attacker inside your house in case you go to jail
20. You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers
21. To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
22. Hijacking cars is a profession
23. You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a placard at a traffic light
24. The petrol in your tank is probably worth more than your car
25. You enjoy reading about the sad state Zimbabwe's in because it makes you feel better about conditions in your own country
26. More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election
27. People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Obvious etc.
28. "Just now" can mean anything from a minute to a month
29. You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for minibus taxis travelling in the other direction
30. Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway
31. You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it
32. A bullet train is being introduced, but the govt. can't even fix potholes
33. The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
34. You paint your car's registration on the roof
35. You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
36. You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one
37. Prisoners go on strike
38. You don't stop at red traffic lights in case somebody hijacks your car
39. You consider it a good month if nobody you know has been robbed at gunpoint
40. You wonder if half-witted criminals like Jacob Zuma might actually do a better job than Thabo Mbeki
41. Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high

LOL LOL LOL